A professional career spanning 20 years is something few kiteboarders can claim. One of the only female kiters to achieve this milestone, Jalou Langeree, 3x World Champion and one of the most popular female kiters in history, shares her story. In this article, Jalou opens up about her life, career, fears, her new documentary, and some huge news. Read all about it in this IKSURFMAG exclusive!

Twenty years is a long time. A lifetime, even. I've been kitesurfing since I was 12 years old. Now, at 32, kiting is my whole world. I've built everything around this sport. So, when I started to doubt myself and second-guess my choices, it was scary. Fear has been a part of my career for decades. How wild - to already be talking in decades at my age!

When I finished high school, I dedicated everything to my professional career. I planned to focus on kiting full-time and travelling the world. That was especially scary because most of my friends pursued studies and stable lifestyles. Meanwhile, I spent my days at the beach doing photoshoots and stuff for my sponsors. Even at that stage, I sometimes woke up in the middle of the night wondering if I was making the right choice. Should I have been studying instead? I was always the kid that was following my own path, but I still felt insecure. Everybody I knew was going in a different direction.

I often compared myself to my brother, Kevin. He knew his direction from the beginning. He was sure that he would pursue kiting, and he did, with all the energy in the world. His certainty helped give me the confidence to commit to my career as a professional athlete. So, I did. I was at the top of the field in wave riding and won three world championships.

People would always ask me, "What will you do when you stop kiteboarding?" I can't tell you how many times I've heard that question. It hit me like a bullet. I never knew the answer. I was just trying to stay focused on kiting, have a good time, and see what happens. But they kept asking, and my doubts and insecurities kept growing.

After 20 years in the sport, I asked myself, for the thousandth time, am I really happy? What am I doing? Am I following my heart? Or am I living up to the expectations people have based on how they see me from the outside? You might see me as "the ripper" or that tough-as-nails woman on the water. Who I have been or how I've portrayed myself has influenced me to be who I became, and I'm happy for everything I've achieved. I had to be disciplined and hard on myself to get those results. But I'm a way different person than what you see. 

In recent years, it's been so lovely to discover who I am and accept that person. During COVID, we had a whole year break. I no longer had to live out of my suitcase and be on the road the whole time. I didn't have to be tough or ride hard and put on my public Lou persona. At long last, I could get to know my true self. I could finally break my walls down, embrace my feminine energy, and unleash my inner marshmallow. I felt immense relief that I finally had the time and space to find out who I was at that stage in my life.

Late last year, I went to Fuerteventura to do a photoshoot with the team from North, and I broke on the inside. I felt like I was wearing that mask again. I'm not this Lou anymore. I can't do what they expect me to do here - ride in front of the camera and create content. It was so not me. This truth hit me hard.

I knew I needed to make a change. Immediately. I had been considering quitting for a while, but I was too scared. I kept thinking back to what people would always say. What are you going to do? What is your Plan B? I was super scared about everything; it was overwhelming. Everything I knew, all the people I met, all the places I was going; it was the same little circuit, but it was my whole life. I didn't have the answer yet, but I chose to let go and trust the process. 

So, after 20 years, I am retiring from professional kitesurfing. And it's the best decision I've made so far.

I wasn't planning to quit during the photoshoot. It probably wasn't the best timing, considering I had a contract that was running for some time still. But, my sponsors were very loyal to me. A few weeks later, when I brought them the idea of making a documentary, they were behind me. They allowed me to spend the past year fully focused on RECONNECT and sharing my story.

RECONNECT spans my 20-year career and follows how I grew up in a male-dominated industry and lost my identity through that. At times, I didn't know what I was doing there; I was only holding on to the plan I had created for myself. There was a wall that I was hiding behind, and that wall was my safety zone. We didn't make the film sexier than it is. It's very raw. Very real. And it's very straightforward. 

My main goal with this documentary is to inspire others and shed more light on mental health problems. It's something we should all talk more openly about. I hope it will create a lot of conversation opportunities after people see it. I'm not afraid to share what I went through because I know it is helping people. So many people can relate their own experiences to what they see in my story. That's what makes it powerful. 

Through RECONNECT and the premieres and people I've connected with so far, I've seen it touch people's hearts. I can see the emotion and tears in the people watching, and many have come to me to share their stories. That's what I wanted to create. Even if you don't have that visceral reaction, I'm happy to put it out there. Because I believe it's something that needs to be heard. I hope that people will feel freer to share their inner struggles. This growing openness is already happening all around us. But it should be more and more and more.

Since I've retired, the feeling of relief has been incredible. I've put my energy into something super meaningful, which has reignited that little fire within me. This past year, I've been able to pull all the layers off and get to the core of myself. I've gotten back to kiting and having fun in everything I'm doing. I still love kiting. Now that it's not my career, it feels like back in the days when I first started. You know that feeling when you're so excited just to go kiting and have a great time and not worry about everything else? That's how I feel now.

Of course, I don't always go kiting. Sometimes I don't want to. I've found that cooking helps me chill, and I walk quite a bit - long beach walks and forest walks make me very happy. I meditate on a daily basis and have been practising yoga and breathwork. I love all that stuff. Overall, I've been taking way better care of myself. 

People who have known me for a long time can see that I'm much more chilled and rested, and comfortable in myself. I feel more grounded and happy with where I am on any given day. I don't have that FOMO when watching competitions or seeing people sending it in Cape Town. Last winter, I didn't feel the tiniest bit of desire to be there. None. I was just at home. It was dark. I was happy. I would wake up, go for a long walk on the beach, cycle, have great conversations with people around me, and just be me.

Everybody deserves to pull those onion layers off and return to or rediscover who they truly are. We're all living in this world where we're constantly influenced by outside things; what mom and dad expect from us, what our best friend or other people project on us, what we should do or be, how much money we should make, all of that. It's hard to be yourself and trust your own process and feelings. To know what is important to you and stick with it. To say: I'm doing it this way. I don't need a house that big. I don't need that fast car. I want to be happy. I have enough.

I have to remind myself of this all the time. I keep this mantra in my head: I am not sitting in the backseat. I am at the wheel. I am sailing this ship. I get to decide where I go and what I do. 

I check with myself almost every day. How am I feeling? Am I good? Is this the right direction? Sometimes, I'm good. Other times, I've gotten a little lost, and I'm back in an old pattern. But, I recognise it quickly, and I can correct my route. I can keep moving forward.

I don't know exactly where I'm going yet. I have some ideas, and I'm working on some projects. I am learning new things, and I'm finding out what else I'm good at or what I can be good at that brings my past experience to the table. My life and career are a big part of me and who I am today. But my arrows are pointing in new directions now. It's a new start! And I can't wait to discover what's next...

By Lantos Marcell

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