Hands up if you hate pump thieves? You know the sort, you get to the beach, the wind is pumping and so you pump up your new kite with your three session old kite pump that is running better than Zola Bud barefoot in the 80’s! With your kite harder than a young mans knob when he has his first kiss it is time to get shredding. The wind is honking, the waves are nuking and you’re about to have the session of your life. As the wave count ticks by you lose count of all the smashes you’ve had quicker than Carol Vorderman from Countdown can work out the square root of 3,468. (58.889 for the mathematicians out there, we know James Boulding reads this…) Your cranium is starting to melt from the sun, the warm water is splashing your legs as you carve majestic arcs into the turquoise blue liquid hydrogen and oxygen and while your arms are starting to turn into noodles the session is so good you have to have “just one more wave”.
When you return to the beach with more endorphins running around your brain than Kate Moss on crack you can barely describe the feeling of stoke to anyone who isn’t a kitesurfer and doesn’t know “the feeling”.
But just like getting dumped by that girl you once truly loved a kick in the stomach is on it’s way… Because some thieving fack has “borrowed” (more like stolen) your kite pump. BUZZKILL.
Thanks to the thieving git on Blouberg Kite Beach today who took our CrazyFly kite pump with yellow and green KSurf stickers on it. We know it was a bloody brilliant pump, we know there was no play in the shaft whatsoever and that it was brand new. We know it can pump up a 9m quicker than Santa can eat a mince pie, we know you must have seen it lying there on the beach and thought, “I’ll have that, what a lovely looking pump”.
What you probably don’t know is that it was our only pump for this trip, so now we have to go and buy a new one, which grates a little as they are stupidly expensive. Sure it’s only a pump, but it was our pump, not yours.
Kite Pump Thieves the world over should seriously take a look at themselves. Scum of the earth, in fact anyone that takes anyones property when they are down the beach needs to stop taking oxygen from the plants and organisms on this planet that really need it.